"When I Say No, Listen the FIRST Time."

Back in January, I started a job as an after care counselor. Generally, I work with children ages 6 to 9 (K-2 grade) and absolutely love it and am learning so much about them.
There is something about children that I am so drawn to, and I have had the hardest time trying to figure it out. Perhaps it is there simplicity, or the joy they find in the most simplest of things, or maybe there desire to be loved on. It is amazing how God can use a group of such young children to soften my heart and remind me of his vast love for every single person on Earth.

One role as a counselor is to not just discipline, but to explain why it is not ok, and teach them how to approach the situation differently the next time. On Wednesday, I was with kindergarten. This age group has a difficult time listening and following the directions the first time being told. Sometimes, I will literally say no do not do that, and the child will turn right back around and do exactly what I told them not to do. So often I find myself saying, "When I say no, LISTEN the very first time, do not do it again."

After saying this out loud so often, it hit me, my King tells me so often not to do something, yet I turn my back from Him and do exactly what He informed me not to do. That is totally me being prideful, and believing I know what is best for my heart. In reality, God knows what is dangerous and He wants to protect me. Why do I have such a hard time listening? The weeded part of my heart desires self-control, and strength of my own. But God comes through with a weed eater and destroys every single thing that is not of Him. He knows truth, He knows what is best.

My King reminds me that "all things work together for my good"; therefore, my prayer is that I will have open ears to LISTEN and hear Him speak.

Romans 8:28

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_2qG22SPwU

Behind That So-Called Perfect Mask

Behind That So-Called Perfect Mask

"Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. We are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. But their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because ONLY in Christ is it taken away. Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is FREEDOM. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being TRANSFORMED into his likeness with every increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is in the Spirit. 

2 Corinthians 3:12-18

Perfection: defined as the condition, state, or quality of being free or as free as possible from all flaws or defects.

Behind my mask, it is messy...my heart is far from perfect. Behind my mask, I run from God, I take matters into my own hand, I avoid letting others view the depths of my heart, I mess up, I fail to love appropriately, I rely on my own strength....I, I, I, I, I. That beautiful mask covers all of this, and in this passage God still says He wants to unveil me from this mask. He isn't scared of my messy heart. 

Over and over again I am like Moses, putting the mask over my face when the radiance starts to fade. When I don't have it all together, I run back to my mask. This is easy, this is comfortable. Then I read that ONLY in Christ is the veil taken away. By continuing to run back to my mask, isn't this the same as me saying to God that I don't trust Him. It is face that He is all-knowing, He wants to offer TRUE FREEDOM away from that mask. 

Where God is, there is so much freedom. God, redefine freedom in my life! 

Through this process, He transforms my heart. Thanks be to God.

This concept of becoming unveiled is one that I will continue to process. He has given me an image of a tower, and I live in that tower because it is safe, and it protects me from all risky things. Recently, God has revealed to me that the tower is not of Him, He calls me to step out of that "safe" place. Outside of this, I must be constantly remembering who God is, and how much He loves me and WILL protect me, even when my life seems so risky and so messy. 

I love you God, even when I can't understand how Your love never fails even when I fail you over and over again.